Option B

Introduction

Sheryl Sandberg, then Facebook's chief operating officer, lost her husband Dave Goldberg suddenly in 2015. With psychologist Adam Grant, she wrote Option B, published in 2017, about building resilience after loss and adversity.

The book combines her personal story with research.

Who should read this book?

People facing grief, loss or adversity, and those supporting them.

Helps with: Bounce back from setbacks, Heal and grow

The central message

Resilience can be built. Even when Option A is gone, we can make the most of Option B.

Key ideas and concepts

1. The three Ps

   Drawing on Martin Seligman's research, Sandberg describes three beliefs that slow recovery: personalization (it's my fault), pervasiveness (it affects everything) and permanence (it will last forever).

2. Kicking the elephant out of the room

   Friends often avoid mentioning loss. Acknowledging it openly helps people feel less alone.

3. The platinum rule of friendship

   Offer specific help, such as 'I'm bringing dinner Tuesday', rather than vague offers.

4. Self-compassion and small wins

   Writing down moments of joy and things done well each day helped Sandberg rebuild confidence.

5. Post-traumatic growth

   Many people find new strength, appreciation and meaning after adversity.

Deeper analysis

Option B is honest, practical and moving. Sandberg's raw account of grief after her husband's sudden death, combined with Adam Grant's research summaries, offers both comfort and tools. Its advice on how friends and colleagues can support someone grieving is especially valuable, and the three Ps give readers a way to notice thoughts that keep them stuck.

Sandberg had resources most people don't, including wealth, flexible work and support, which she acknowledges. Some readers find the blend of memoir and research uneven, and the research on resilience and post-traumatic growth is presented optimistically. Still, it's a helpful and humane guide to building resilience.

Practical applications

• Notice the three Ps in your thinking.
• Offer specific help to someone grieving.
• Practise self-compassion.
• Write about moments of joy.
• Build resilience with family.

Your 7-day action plan

1. Day 1

   Learn the three Ps: personalization, pervasiveness and permanence.

2. Day 2

   Challenge one P in how you think about a setback.

3. Day 3

   Practise self-compassion by writing to yourself as a friend would.

4. Day 4

   Write down three small wins from today.

5. Day 5

   Offer specific help to someone who is struggling.

6. Day 6

   Talk with family or friends about how you support each other.

7. Day 7

   Reflect on what your Option B could look like.

Outcomes to expect

What readers who apply this book can realistically take away from it:

• Tools to challenge thoughts that slow recovery
• Better ways to support grieving friends
• Practices for self-compassion and small wins
• Hope after loss

Strengths and limitations

Reflection questions

1. How do you respond to loss?
2. Which P affects you?
3. How could you support someone?
4. What's your Option B?

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About the authors

Book details (title, author, year) are factual. Everything under the headings above is MindsetProdigy's own editorial analysis and interpretation, written to help you decide whether to read the book and how to apply it. It is not a substitute for reading the book itself. Last updated September 29, 2026.